Glass Mountain Trust 2
A hard dance to manage
This is a sequel to my original Glass Mountain Trust, published here in Pictura Journal’s Intervals.
My heart often moves at pace, and I find it hard to keep up. Situations and circumstances rapidly changing, with no indication of what is next, and yet I must follow along, tracing my finger along the words on the page even as they are written. Yes, there were signs; there always were; similar to an author sprinkling in foreshadowing for every possible ending in an attempt to keep narrative options open for later books, living is filled with small moments which in hindsight appear larger than life, signalling a turn here or a crossroads there.
But what to do when you reach these forks in the road? Often so hard to decipher where each may or may not lead, and deciding whether to take a risk or not—or which risk to take—can be a vain decision. At times, I miss the intersection entirely and continue on into the sun, the needle of my compass still pointing onwards like a moth to a flame, despite life urging otherwise.
Some mountains, I will see the view from atop, others I will watch shatter around me, and more still, I will turn my back on as I find my path down the hillsides. A walk is never a waste of an afternoon, but embarking on a hike up the wrong mountain is a futile endeavour and brings more pain than mere blisters on feet.
I know that everything will work itself out—it always does—but often those in-between moments can be difficult, and I am wary of them. I dread their coming, and wonder how much I can manage, and how much I should shy away.
Sometimes, it is not even my choice to make. Chance goes for or against, and the path I tread alters course accordingly. Compass point spinning as confusion ensues, and I think that surely something must go my way soon? Never I give up, not until defeat stares me down, and I can see the whites of its eyes.
There is always a distance: between me and those around; between me in my heart and me in the world. However, sometimes distance is a blessing; it gives more time to breathe and figure out each day as it comes.